On his television program titled, It’s Supernatural!, host Sid Roth featured videos from various self-proclaimed prophets about what the year 2020 would have in store. Roth often has these figures on his television show. But 2020 has been quite a year and an especially bad one for false prophets. Since these spiritual charlatans can’t actually see the future, their predictions are hilariously off-target. By the way, Roth also mentions watching the track records of prophets to confirm their accuracy (I guess he hasn’t been paying close attention). So, let’s do that. How did these so-called prophets do?
- Shawn Bolz said God showed him that coronavirus would not be the
“pandemic that people are afraid of.” One week later, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic. Oops.
- Patricia King gets close by saying there would be a time of crisis, although she isn’t specific. Big surprise! How many crises do we see every year? A lot, if you consider how much goes on in our world. Millions starve around the world annually. Millions more are displaced by violence and conflict or ravaged by disease. Industrialization creates water shortages for entire regions. The Middle East is always volatile—you can count on Iran doing something squirrely on an almost annual basis. Are not these crises worthy of our attention, care, and concern? Not for our friendly neighborhood false prophets, who tend to focus most of their attention on the United States, and especially American politics and wealth. On a side note, King also claimed in 2018 that, after suffering from the flu, that she flew up to heaven to talk to God about a cure for the virus. Thankfully, he showed her that the flu was caused by demons dropping “spiritual black clouds” onto the earth and gave her a magic sword to decapitate them all. It also gave her the power to electrocute them with
SithGod’s lightning. You know, because if you really want to kill a demon, decapitation just isn’t enough. But if “THE FLU VIRUS IS FINISHED,” like she claimed, I’m still waiting for my insurance premiums to go down. Down like, you know, a decapitated demon. Who’s also been electrocuted.
- Perry Stone claimed 2020 would represent a fulfillment of Joel 2. According to his prediction, it would be a year filled with the favor of God. You mean, like living through a pandemic that kills tens of thousands, isolates hundreds of millions, and creates an environment where domestic violence, child abuse, divorce, anxiety, depression, and suicide can flourish like never before? You could argue that this chaos creates opportunities for Christian service, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what he had in mind.
- Kevin Zadai claimed children would prophesy, laying hands on people and healing them. Having children prophesy sounds great and all, but what concerns me is what’s going to happen when kids start healing everybody. There are a lot of kids, which means that there’s going to be a lot of healings. What are we going to do about the medical industry? Will people be excited about these unlicensed children putting medical practitioners out of business? That’s a huge sector of the American economy that’s going to take a hit. And is this a sustainable health care model? Well, I suppose we’ll just deal with it if we get there.
- Tracy Cooke claimed the weather would change to get our attention. It would bread records and nature itself would prophesy (whatever that means). I’ve lived in Oklahoma, and the weather there changes every fifteen minutes. Does that count? Even better is his claim that there would be prophetic “snipers”—so-called because they’re going to be so accurate. Seeing how he and his prophetic compatriots can’t offer anything more specific than what you’d find in the weekly horoscope, I’m not holding my breath.
- Hank Kunneman said there would be huge public meetings filled with children moved by the spirit of God. Unfortunately, the closest thing we have to this is violent protests, unless you also throw in Trump rallies for good measure. So far, stadiums and public venues have been empty across the country.
- James Goll said there would be a billion-soul harvest, especially of youth. Essentially, he’s saying that most of the kids on the planet are going to convert to Christianity. Even if he’s rounding up, that still a lot of kids. Unless he’s rounding up to the nearest billion, that is.
- Clarice Fluitt prophesied that we would see a new person on the US supreme court. Seeing how the grim reaper had been ringing Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s doorbell for a decade, that seemed like a fairly safe bet. She also said that the person would be a woman of integrity. Given that Trump has a history of appointing women to some high-profile positions, and that his opponents would have a tougher time arguing against a female appointee, that was another reasonably safe bet. Honestly, I thought Ginsberg’s astonishing resilience would have her pulling a Betty White and outliving all of us.
- Rodney Howard-Browne gets the award for the most spectacular claim, in which he said he would curse Coronavirus just like the Zika virus, and that he would personally keep the former from coming to Florida. Except that his home state has had nearly a million cases of Coronavirus, with over 18,000 deaths. As they say, “Go big, or go home” (and as a millionaire making a good living from fleecing people, he’s got a spectacular home to go to in an exclusive gated community in Tampa, FL).
- Kenneth Copeland is infamous for his numerous failed prophecies, including his “judgment” against Coronavirus and his declaration that a cure would appear “right now.” The former hasn’t happened, although Pfizer announced a vaccine just days after Election Day. Of course, Copeland is just as infamous for his massive amount of wealth and bizarre refusal to fly commercial because it interferes with his spirituality. Copeland once bragged about needing a personal airplane because he’s just too important to fly coach for Jesus.
By the way, none of these people foresaw the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems like a pretty important part of 2020 to just gloss over, don’t you think?
2020 has been what I call a “prophecy-killer.” Coronavirus has exposed these false prophets and others like them for the liars they are. Their greed is obvious; their deception is equally so. Not only did they fail to see something as earth-shaking as COVID-19, they can’t do anything about it. Dozens of faith healers could be on the front lines wiping out Coronavirus and cleaning out hospitals. Figures like Benny Hinn and Todd White—who claims he can walk down the street and cause random amputees to regrow their limbs—could be doing it to the glory of God. They could prove their prophetic status and generate millions of new supporters. Billions of dollars would be pouring into their ministry bank accounts. So why don’t they do it?
For the same reason that psychics never win the lottery.
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